"Family values" is a term politicains like to bring out a lot these days, especially social conservatives. It's also somewhat vague, and mostly used in reference to "traditional" Christian morals, which are supposed to be in massive decline. Dictionary.com defines family values as "the moral and ethical principles traditionally upheld and transmitted within a family, as honesty, loyalty, industry, and faith. "
Personally, I think this is more or less a con. The central illusion here is the idea that there is a "normal" family which once dominated the country, and that said family was committed to the Judeo-Christian tradition John McCain is so intent on preserving.
However, despite what some people insist on believing, America was never a "Christian nation." It was initially inhabited a multitude of native tribes that had never heard of Jesus Christ. When the U.S.A. was initially founded, its architects were mostly theists and deists, highly influenced by Enlightenment thinking. Thomas Jefferson actually cut up two Bible and stitched together his own version, without the miracles.
The fact is, every family is different. Some parents truly love their children and try to teach them well, and others abuse their children and spouses both physically and psychologically. These things have been happening across the world forever, even in the vaunted golden age of the Fifties.
Furthermore, family values is often a weapon aimed at sexual openess and diversity. It's a disguise for the hate leveled at anyone who has sex oustside of marriage, within their own gender, or in interesting positions, and hate isn't the kind of value I think we need in our families.
There is an astonishing ignorance of why pre-marital and casual sex where ever taboo in the first place - back in the day, there was no way to protect oneself against pregnancy or disease, no condoms or Pill or modern medicine. This wasn't handled by trying to convince teenagers not to get it on though - teenagers simply got married shortly after they reached sexual maturity, especially women. However, we simply live in a different world now.
Family values advocates also see divorce as a manifestation of our moral decline. The fact is, an unhappy marriage is a terrible force in anyone's life. Staying together for the kids doesn't work if the kids have to deal with eighteen years of screaming arguments. The real problem is the obsession with getting married, as though it somehow designates a successful life. I think this is a major factor in people getting married when they simply shouldn't, or to people they shouldn't.
Censorship is also continuously bolstered by the family values argument. Apparently, the best way to raise good kids is to keep the media completely free of violence, sex, or swearing, even though everyone experiences these things simply by going through daily life. How certain words are somehow worse than others, even when they mean the same things, blows my mind. Or how it's worse for a child to witness sexual intercourse - which in reality is necessary to our survival, and fun too - than to see a TV action star shoot someone, which in reality is sad and horrific. One major function of the arts is to help us deal with life, and if art is stripped of its relation to real life, it fails.
All right, I'm losing focus on this rant, and you probably are too. The point is, there are a lot of different people in this country that value different things. I'd like to see some politicians stick up for us existentialists, humanists, bachelors, drug users, fornicators, atheists, and general freaks. We are among you, and our numbers are greater than you think.
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13 comments:
Damn Matthew, thanks for posting this. This is the most tolerant, well thought blog I've read yet. Thanks for not preaching the gospel. Thanks for pointing out the facts about family. And last but not least, thanks for the clause about us fornicating, drug-abusing(ex) open- minded folks. I'm tired of hearing everyone's basic, general, and short-sided opinions. Have a nice day.
Just a question but what are you taking this government class for? I mean, what are you planning to do?
And I think the reason why politicians don't "stick up" for people like you listed is because they wouldn't get elected.
The reason why art/TV should be censored, so people want become decensored to death, drugs and sex. Now on the count of three every body say welcome back LT.
I'm a very openminded person and liked most of what you had to say Matthew. However, not everyone is as openminded about things as you and I. I see no problem with sex outside of marriage. I used to. However, sex with too many partners leads to unwanted pregnancies, deseases and "who's my babies daddy ????"!!!!!!! That leads to men not taking care of the unwanted child because they just say, "well she slept around so how do I know if I'm the father", an easy excuse used to get out of raiseing a child. I do also see a problem with drug abuse, in all forms. It can detiorate the mind, spirit, and generally the motivation and will of an individual. Their quality of life can be destroyed by it. I'm saying not in all cases, but most. So again it is left up to the individual and their ever molding sense of right and wrong. And, as to speak as a women, I think most of us prior to marriage, are searching for someone to share the experiences of the world with, laugh with, to be completely satisfied sexually with, and grow in all ways with. I feel that if you find that in someone, then marriage is worth the risks involved. Thats my opinion.
Josh - rock on
Kristen - I'm taking this class because it's a requirement to get my associates degree. As for what I plan to do, I'm a writer. I plan to create, travel, have fun, and try to be a decent person.
And if some politicians stuck up for us, they'd probably get our vote. Like I said, there's a lot of us.
Turner - Becoming desensitized to violence is a problem, but I don't think censorship is the answer. The answer is common sense and good parenting. Furthermore, art reflects society. If we lived in a more peaceful world, we'd have more peaceful art. There is violence in the world tho, and art provides a great outlet to deal with it, as opposed to being smothered by it.
Danielle - I'm not saying people shouldn't be responsible with sex. Use condoms, treat the other person with respect, don't be an idiot. People who run out on their kids - women do it too, tho much less I'm sure - are not people who have my support. Freedom comes with responsibility. I'm just encouraging an open mind.
On drugs - yeah, they can be bad for you. They can also be good for you. Drugs have caused me problems, yes, and they've also helped me past problems. I was firmly opposed to any drug for most of high school, and sobriety didn't do me any good, I know that.
It depends on who you are, what you choose to do, and how much you do it. Again, responsibility is the key, and I think it's an individual's responsibility, not the government's. It's also worth noting that alcohol is far more dangerous and addictive than many illegal drugs, yet it's socially accepted.
As for marriage, there isn't anything wrong with getting married. The problem is when people get married because they feel its a social obligation to do so, or look down on those who choose something else. Furthermore, just because you want to be with someone for good, you don't HAVE to get married. If you're gonna be together, you're gonna be together. Lack of a reglious ceremony or an official paper won't change that.
Mr. Amuso
I must say that I actually like your blog. It's very interesting. As far as sex and drugs I believe that people should be responsible and its their own choice. I do not beleive that censorship is the answer. I know for a fact its has more to do with your background and good parenting. It has very little to do with reality t.v. Besides, parents deceide what their kids can and can not do. Reality tv doesn't amke a child watch their show. I think that parents are just looking for an excuse when things get out of controlwith their children and they do not know what else to do.
I know when I was a child, my mother basically allowed my brother and i to watch cartoons, and animated movies. She also read books to us and made sure we went to the library, museum ,zoo, and etc. I think that parents should spend more time doing out door actiitives with their children. Instead of them playing video games and staying insie all day.
By Amanda Winn
On the whole sex before marriage thing, my view is: "You gotta test drive a car before you buy it". That is all, great topic/post!
Parents seem to have this problem of not wanting to take responsibility for their children. I know that is a very vauge statement, but to an extent it is true. Instead of turning off the tv, or using tivo to censor things you don't want your children to see, parents complain, and complain some more instead of simply taking the remote and just shutting it off. No, you can't control other houses your child goes to, and no, you can't control the entire neighborhood's behaviors, but you have the capability to control your own home.
For example: this woman tried to sue Books-A-Million for having a book called "Absolute Boyfriend" (that I too own), because it mentioned sex, and was in the 'children's section'. However if the woman had looked closely enough she would have seen that it was actually in the manga section. Manga is Japanese comic books, they range to all ages, be that 6 or 67. Each book has on the side what is age appropriate. Since she did not keep an eye on her child, she let him wonder around without taking responsibility to see what he was looking at. Unlike Absolute Boyfriend, there is an entire section of Books-A-Million dedicated to books purely on sex, that are not wrapped in plastic or anything. It just goes to show that someone who can't keep an eye on their children like she, just wants to blame a store for her lack of responsibility and following the guildlines that are clearly on the books themselves.
It doesn't stop with just books, grades, friends, lifestyles, parents blame videogames instead of the fact that some just don't help their children with homework, or just turn off the tv and talk to their children. And then they wonder why their child is venting their frustrations on the neighbors dog.
Josh and Amuso and A. Smith, "Boys think with their Toys and Men Think with their Minds." Based on your comments it is easy to see were you stand on this point. Women are not just objects or cars, they are to be respected, loved, cherished and built up before all the world to see. It is wiser to seek wisdom and not just instant gradification.
At what point does not wanting to be married or enjoying consenual sex outside of marriage imply a lack of respect for women? Women are freaking awesome. I've fallen ridiculously in love with several of them. And I think women can build THEMSELVES up just fine.
And mine's not a toy, man, it's a high powered outer-space pleasure weapon.
Here is a prime example of why I quit posting on here. I make one simple post, and now i am lesser of a person and i cannot think with my mind? My statement is a metaphor dealing with quite a few issues with a future spouse and the things i think are very important in knowing, before devoting the rest of your life to someone. There is much more sociology on the matter than many think. I shall not go into depth for fear of boredom. PS women are the greatest thing on earth and without them i would not be here, nor would i be able to have offspring. Andrew J Smith Jr. soon? lol
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